Out

I am thinking about getting out of Peterborough for a few days before i commit myself to my A'levels. I know i have a place in Scotland i can go to and that will be really nice if i went. I don't know why all of a sudden i feel like i need to get away. I mean i do love Peterborough even though it's nothing too fab there are some really brilliant, lovely people about. I always thought i would never get to the stage where i crave freedom from a place but i do now, and it does feel ever so strange. In a weird way i would just love to go to a place, not know a single person and just see how i do.. even if i end up fucking myself up it's just been buzzing through my head for a while.

What upsets me though is... i know for a fact that i can't imagin myself having the balls to do that. I like to think i am brave and up for all of these adventures however i am starting to come to terms that most of these are in my mind. I don't mind that i am not doing them it just defeats the whole purpose of having these thoughts and dreams when you already know you haven't got the fucking balls to do them. It's not just getting out of Peterborough of course there are many things, however this rant is about Peterborough and i am going to try and stay on the same subject.

So to wrap it all in a nutshell i just want something new i suppose.